rubypearl

Yesterday someone I didn't know sent me a message telling me that my book saved her, and she would continue to hang on. So-I'm all good. I can relax now. I can't really describe how much work it ...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2013/09/thank-you.html

Due to drastic changes in habitat, diet, tribal customs and migratory habits; the mating rituals of the Western Middle-aged, Upper-Middle Class Divorced Male have changed dramatically in recent d...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-mating-habits-of-southwestern.html

I can hear a Bob Wills song as we pull into the wide gravel parking lot. "Get it off of me!" I try to pull it off me but its claws are stuck like burrs in my dress "It's doing that creepy kneadi...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2012/11/normal-0-false-false-false-en-us-x-none.html

Dear World- This blog post is now part of my new book so I took it down because I don't want to be a jerk and ruin it for you- you're welcome a preview of this awesomeness that includes a bunch ...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2012/11/chocolate-and-cuckoo-clocks.html

Dear World- This blog post is now part of my new book so I took it down because I don't want to be a jerk and ruin it for you- you're welcome a preview of this awesomeness that includes a bunch ...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2012/10/i-wonder-who-does-laundry-at-castle.html

Dear World- This blog post is now part of my new book so I took it down because I don't want to be a jerk and ruin it for you- you're welcome a preview of this awesomeness that includes a bunch ...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2012/10/its-your-movie_22.html

Dear World- This blog post is now part of my new book so I took it down because I don't want to be a jerk and ruin it for you- you're welcome a preview of this awesomeness that includes a bunch...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2011/10/imagine-you-are-hiring-manager-at.html

Dear World- This blog post is now part of my new book so I took it down because I don't want to be a jerk and ruin it for you- you're welcome a preview of this awesomeness that includes a bunch ...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2011/05/last-night-i-felt-weird.html

I suddenly feel really weird this afternoon. Like weak and and my chest hurts, hot then cold-just WEIRD- but the worst symptom is that my back-where the kidneys are-hurts like crazy. So-besides ...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2011/05/your-mother-could-turn-stones-into.html

Dear World- This blog post is now part of my new book so I took it down because I don't want to be a jerk and ruin it for you- you're welcome a preview of this awesomeness that includes a bunch...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2011/05/fuck-you-heb.html

The other day I watched Harold and Maude again. I try to see this movie every couple of years to remind me to be free. Like the way one should trip on mushrooms every year to be reminded of how i...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2011/05/ode-to-lemon.html

http://crave.cnet.co.uk/gadgets/0,39029552,49305387,00.htm They found an "oddly dressed" man outside of the Large Hadron collider in Geneva claiming to be from the future.He said he came back to...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2010/04/for-real.html

I can't post the photos of what came next, the police might consider that to be "evidence", but I will say this-if your arms are weak from too much time spent holding up your crackpipe and you...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2010/03/give-my-jacket-back-bitch.html

Okay-I am retarded and put the wrong link to my new craft blog on the last post. Too many Flintstones vitamins WILL get you high, apparently.The new blog has the story of when a transvestite jizz...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2010/03/gorilla-munch.html

I read an article in Psychology Today magazine that described the sleep disorders "Sexomnia" and "Incubus Attack." Sexomnia is when you try to do it in your sleep and an Incubus Attack is when yo...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2010/03/incubus-attack-at-mall.html

Last night we enjoyed the Holy Grail of babysitting-the Overnight. Ruby stayed at my mother's house, we stayed out until three with our friends John and Donna, drinking wine at a bar called the...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2010/03/sugar-weasel.html

Yesterday I was feeling kind of bad for making fun of the self promotion I have to do for my job. What I realised is that I take my occupation for granted sometimes. Doing things like marketing o...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2010/03/bringing-home-bacon.html

I reported on a ground breaking interview right here- http://thesmatter.wordpress.com/2010/03/22/ruby-explains-the-health-care-bill/ very funny site.

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2010/03/making-journalism-history.html

Listen. When your car alarm goes off-no one is going to investigate the possible theft of your car. We are only thinking-"Who is that asshole? Turn it off!" and hating you. Maybe car alarms are r...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2010/03/stallion.html

I went to a party for the Marfa Film festival last night. My music producer friend invited me-her name is Roggie Bear, which always makes me think of an animated character, Teddy Ruxpin or Yogi B...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2010/03/there-are-no-douchebags-in-marfa.html

As we walked from the car to the restaurant tonight I was trying to be extra observant. "Try to see Sixth street as if you didn't grow up here," I thought."See downtown through the eyes of a visi...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2010/03/suck-by-southwest.html

Who is posting lady porn on my comments? I am just glad it's a lady-or I'd be worried that Jeff was right the other night and now I have a stalker. "Yep." he said, breathless from his walk around...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2010/03/man-on-street.html

The best way to convince your husband to let you go to North Korea is to pretend to be hankering for another baby. It was working, until I began to try it on other things. "I really want to have...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2010/03/best-way-to-convince-your-husband-to.html

Jeff reminded me last night about a condition that wrestlers get called "cauliflower ear" It sounds pretty but it's horrifying. If you crush the cartilage in your ear, for example rolling over ...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2010/03/mouse-trap.html

Some things that are true for everyone- You have to help people move and pick them up at the airport No one gets perms anymore and I don't know why No one likes to be drunk in front of their m...

http://rubypearlslips.blogspot.com/2010/02/caller-id.html