One of the most accurate film titles ever written! The plot does indeed involve a 2-headed shark that attacks, and what it attacks is a group of college kids filled with so many annoying characte...
This movie is a rip-off of "Gremlins," but with Harvey Korman. A LOT of Harvey Korman. In fact, there is so much Harvey Korman here that there is very little time for the hungry gremlins.
This movie is the best film ever made in BFW (the "W" stands for "Wisconsin"). Unfortunately, it is also the worst film ever made in BFW and should only be watched by those who believe that snow ...
In a number of ways, this is the movie that "DOOM" should have been, but it uses so many ideas from other films that there is precious little new material to make it interesting. Plus, the charac...
In the year 1980, the refugee fleet of spaceships led by the Battlestar Galactica finally discovers Earth. This sequel series is terrible, and it shares very little with the original show. Well, ...
The best way to describe "KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park" is to say that it is a "Scooby-Doo" episode, but starring KISS instead of a bunch of meddling kids and a talking dog.
What do you get when you cross "Jaws" with "Predator" and cast a 1990s pop culture star as the protagonist? Why yes, this is a SyFy original movie. How did you know?
A Navy officer discovers that the Chinese are using machines to dig their way under America's defenses. He leads a team of Marines into the tunnels to stop the communist sappers before they can p...
Parts of this anthology movie are absolutely brilliant. Unfortunately, the brilliant parts are smothered by loads of sexual jokes and toilet humor. I laughed some, I cried some, I rolled my eyes ...
Prisoners at a futuristic government work camp are used as human game for politicians and their cronies.
Patrick Swayze is a bouncer/philosopher who teachers the bouncers of the Double Deuce the ancient art of bouncing, saves the town from a corrupt businessman, and falls in love with a female docto...
In this unauthorized Italian sequel to "Alien" a group of spelunking bowlers (Or are they bowling spelunkers?) discover that their favorite cave and favorite bowling alley are infested with alien...
Tarkan is a string bean with a moustache, the Vikings wear pastel bath rugs instead of furs, and there is even a real, live inflatable octopus. This movie is almost 100% pure kitsch.
When angel dust dealers move into his neighborhood, Rudy Ray Moore becomes the avenging disco godfather of legend. Yes, he avenges his nephew. Yes, he is a godfather. And yes, dear God, there is ...
A teenage nerd discovers a leprechaun in an empty beer bottle. The nerd is in love with a cheerleader and the leprechaun must grant three wishes to escape from his glass prison. If you think this...
This is a Filipino film about a man who uses Catholic magic to battle the Devil. That alone makes seeking it out a worthwhile effort for anyone who enjoys bizarre cinema.
"Dagon" is mostly based on another of Lovecraft's short stories, being about 65% "The Shadow Over Innsmouth." The remainder is 5% "Dagon" and 30% miscellaneous ideas (mostly mutant fish person in...
Tiffany creates piranhas large enough to eat a battleship. The fish never stop growing and never stop eating, despite the fact that they don't need to eat to grow and were meant to grow to eat. I...
For this Sadistic Santa roundtable, Dr. Freex put a little something by Frank Miller under my tree. It's not a good movie by any stretch of the imagination, but I think that Freex is getting soft...
Why do all of the ponies have tramp stamps? Who named them "Sweet Stuff" and "Lickety Split?" Why do I care if the Smooze gives the ponies PMS? WTF are Bushwoolies? Why am I watching this movie?
People travel 20,000 light years across the universe to explore a new planet, only to discover that it is populated by man-eating bears. The bears are not purple. They don't have tentacles or glo...
After crash landing on an alien planet, the crew of a spaceship is stalked and killed by their greatest fears. Of course one of the crew is a buxom blonde female, and of course her biggest fear i...
Hercules has to rescue a kingdom from Moon Men sacrificing the kingdom's youth.
A rogue comet causes every machine on the planet to revolt against Mankind. ATMs can only display insulting messages, but tractor-trailers are capable of doing a lot more than calling surprised b...
Remember how the mayor in "Jaws" was worried about the shark scaring off the tourists? This is the same movie. Just substitute "tarantulas" for "shark" and "oranges" for "tourists," and...well I ...
Drive-in Dan and Retroman Steve cut their camping trip short after hearing rumors about gender-confused killer, Angela, being on the loose. A mysterious killer is offing campers and counselors in...
http://www.the-losthighway.com/2010/08/15/return-to-sleepaway-camp/
The spirited exchanges between the hero and the villain are a treat, and the atmosphere is great, but what makes this movie special is the demon. It is a truly memorable addition to cinema's muse...
Reader review by the indomitable, but unhappy about this film, RetroRussell. Reading his description, it's hard to blame Russell for not enjoying the movie.
The problem with this movie is not that it is science fiction, nor that it is horror, nor even that it is a comedy. The problem is that it is also a musical. Its budget is a problem as well. Cub ...
Scientists create great white sharks that obey basic FORTRAN commands, such as GOTO, EAT, and NO EAT. Of course, the sharks escape and get stuck in EAT mode.
Updated review! Where else can you find Sean Connery dressed in a red loincloth, a giant flying stone head that preaches about guns and safe sex, and a commune of everlasting hippies?
The poster promises an unstoppable motorcycle-hurling monster, cops clutching their useless submachine guns, and buxom beauties screaming in terror at a hairy beast that "breeds with anything." A...
Lady Gaga's android army returns in this Italian space opera that is desperately in need of an editor. Every scene, and I do mean every scene, lasts five times longer than it should. The climatic...
Why do people decide that big creepy mansions in the middle of nowhere make great vacation rentals? You know someone is going to get possessed. It's usually on the lease in the small print.
The title is inspired, but this film is an awful conglomeration of events that, though they are meant to produce a coherent plot, ultimately result in an incomprehensible mess. I did laugh when i...
No Michael Myers, no Jamie Lee Curtis, and no Donald Pleasance? Nope, just Tom Atkins butt and some defective Halloween masks. Now that truly is horrifying.
http://www.the-losthighway.com/2010/04/14/halloween-iii-season-of-the-witch/
"The Educational Archives" is an entertainment goldmine filled with old classroom training films. This particular assortment contains an Italian man who canna have no bambino until he gets his sy...
Guest review by Spazzo. This is an opera. The plot is about organ transplants that are repossessed if the owner does not make the payments. The cast includes Paris Hilton and Andrew Lloyd Webber'...
A tribe of dirty, greasy, scabby and overly stupid cavemen and cavewomen contend with the harsh realities of the prehistoric world by having constant sex.