Searah's Museum of Screwy Sex Toys » Body parts in the wrong places

Hi, my name is searah and I am obsessed with sex toys that squish women’s bodies into crazy-ass shapes and this one here takes all the mother fucking cake.   First we have the classic boobs wi...

https://screwysextoys.com/2018/05/24/it-has/

Yet another fine example of one of my pet peeves/obsessions…Women’s Bodies Squished or Compressed.. It is new and novel that they just stuck the Vulva in the middle of her torso where here st...

https://screwysextoys.com/2017/04/04/here-we-go-again/

I think using your hands for sex is great! Like an amazing part of sex that I think gets overlooked sometimes. But I have to admit this cock sleeve gives me some pause. Yes, it is a penis extend...

https://screwysextoys.com/2016/12/05/hand-dick/

Ah finally.. the only parts of women that actually matter in one convenient place. I am kind of obsessed with boobs and vulvas smashed together. It is just so WRONG. Grotesque and yet somehow s...

https://screwysextoys.com/2016/06/30/t-and-v/

According to the box it comes in The Booty Glove is “Possibly the best sex toy in the world!”. I’d love to know what world this is and why it is so bad that THIS is the best sex toy they...

https://screwysextoys.com/2014/09/28/booty-glove/

I’ll be honest – I’m over Mustaches* but when this vibrating Mustache came along… you know I had to get one. Called the MustachiO, this is a vibrating silicone** strap-on ‘stash for a �...

https://screwysextoys.com/2013/10/21/mustachio/

“The best part is, you can squat on my dick while you slide between my tits and straight into my mouth. Yummy”. – That seems like quite a feat for one to accomplish, eh? Really, think about...

https://screwysextoys.com/2013/04/23/709/

What is UP with these crazy-ass masturbators lately? Here you have $500 (suggested retail price) of more limbless fun. Added bonus – a shape that makes NO SENSE. And hair the same color as he...

https://screwysextoys.com/2013/03/01/jump-me-jerri/

Small details give me so much pleasure. Take this floppy fuckable hand for instance. Note how the slender bracelet and charming ring give it that “life-like” look. Why, this could pass for a...

https://screwysextoys.com/2012/02/22/i-love-this-fable-hand/

… so I’ll just tell you the details: • Those are suposed to be pierced nipples … on boobs • With a vulva three times the size below it • It is called FUKPUSSY • The box has a pictur...

https://screwysextoys.com/2012/01/18/i-just-cant-even-think-of-what-to-say-about-this/